With that overly dramatic announcement I shall take this opportunity to exit stage left.

I am going to a wedding on Sunday 20 zillion miles away.  With any luck it will be the last one for this year, because I've spent over $2000 on this wedding alone and $825 for the wedding three weeks prior (although to be fair the first wedding didn't require me to actually travel to the opposite side of the state) so if any more of my drongo friends decide to get married this year they can go to hell.  And don't any of you aspiring Bridezillas tell me that it's already August and no sane person would suddenly decide to get married before the year ends, because last year it happened twice.

The day after the wedding, as sort of a congratulatory present for having survived the wedding season (silly season) as well as not succumbing to the temptation to kill myself because I have a full time job on top of full time university and the entire universe has been lining up to take potshots at me this week, I am taking myself away to the colder climates and indulging myself in a week of snowboarding.

The best part of this trip however is going to be seeing how Mr Kaitee manages to hold up. He's never seen snow before in his entire life and rarely ventures outdoors because he's afraid of the sun. He can't stand not being good at something so I'm predicting that on his first day he's going to make a mammoth effort to coat his body in bruises and spend the night complaining that I'm an evil heinous bitch for dragging him out of his cave and away from his precious guitars and internet. Then I will throw back in his face the line "Well how do you expect to get good if you don't practice?" which is his response to me bitching that my skills in something are less than perfect, which of course would never happen because I am perfect and I kill anyone who sees me being otherwise. Then he will complain some more about how bored he is without the internet and I will throw a book at his head and he will get pissy because I hit him in the eye or gave him a papercut and anyway he doesn't read books and I should know this and just give up my stupid quest to make him.

He should be glad however I am not evil enough to do to him what Mr E did to me when I first got the impulse to strap a piece of wood to my feet and hurtle face first down a mountain. Mr E dragged me to the top of the mountain and threw me off  "See you at the bottom bitch" he said and went whooshing down the slopes leaving me alone thinking "Fuck me, I am so going to die".  Obviously I didn't die and karma hit back very nicely when he went arse over tit on a jump and knocked out some teeth. Then he broke his arm two days later and had to spend a week sitting at the base cafe bored out of his brain while the rest of us nooblets cranked it up to the blue and black runs. Serves him right.

SO BYE!!

~Please send any thoughts about broken bones to Mr Kaitee. I have state championships in 6 weeks and do not need to be sitting around idly, waiting for the osteoblasts in my legs to form bony calluses to repair any fractures so I can walk again. He sits on his arse all day anyway.