This little gem kind of says it all really. And that stirring piece was written by the Chief of Staff.

As I was reading it I was wondering how it was going to end. I was hoping for a nice cheery "and this sarcastic piece of inane vitriol was all in the aim of fun fun fun".  Unfortunately not. It seems this wanker was actually serious.

Issue #1: "Virgins are pure of character and strong of will."
This is a very generalised and broad statement, which given that the nature of his column is a blog, can be slightly forgiven. But I still find it sets my teeth on edge as it seems to imply that once you lose your virginity you turn into something slightly less human. I don't think that I, or any of my friends who are no longer virgins, have lost our strength of will or have had our sense of decency lessened in any way. Nor do I find that those friends of mine who chose to remain virgins until their wedding day, chose to wait until they felt they had found the right person or those that waited (or are still waiting) thanks to bad luck, bad taste and certainly not for lack of trying are necessarily pure of soul either.

Issue # 2: "I watched in wonder at their unique ability to laugh and dance the night away without a skerrick of sin or illegal substances involved. Then I remembered they were virgins, and quickly realised this was their secret weapon."
This makes me want to get up and whack "The King" with a sharp pointy object. The ability to laugh and dance without drinking or drugging oneself is certainly not restricted to virgins wholly and solely. It's certainly possible to have fun in a large crowd without ingesting large quantities of booze and puking up all over your shoes and waking up in a gutter. It's even more possible to enjoy yourself without swallowing strange substances of questionable origin, acting like a fruit loop for a few hours before doing something incredibly stupid that likely results in some serious self harm in a variety of ways. And I especially resent that this wanker seems to think that virginity is a weapon. For heaven's sake! What kind of society are we living in when someone writes about virginity being a weapon? Virginity is not a weapon. It's a word describing someone who hasn't had sex, for whatever reasons, more than likely because of their own personal choice.

Issue #3: "Virgins, I can safely assume, don't bully other kids, or do drugs or binge drink or bash old folks."
What is that oft-coined phrase about assumptions? Oh yeah, they make an ASS out of you and me. Why is it safe to assume that only the deflowered folk are the ones binge drinking or bullying? That I can safely say is absolute crap. I've known some very nice Catholic boys, virgins, who have downed as many if not sometimes more beer than the rest of us in a pub on a Friday night after a really shit week at work.  What about bullying in primary schools? It's getting to be a rather large problem these days, are we going to assume that the children doing the bullying are full of rampant sexual hormones and are out shagging everything they can lay their 11 year old hands on? I highly doubt it.

Issue #4: "No sex means no babies. That's good for our population quotas and even better for those of us who like to travel on planes in peace and quiet."
If you don't like travelling on planes next to children, who have as much right as the next person to be allowed freedom of travel, then you can pay the extra money for a business class seat, or take advantage of the in flight entertainment, take an ipod, take a laptop and watch a DVD or better yet, get a train (which in a country the size of Australia is problematic but I really hate dickheads who yell at parents on planes about babies). And when you're old and sick and need quality care and wonder why there is a shortage of well educated medical staff trying to save your life ask yourself why. Oh that's right. You preached for the world's youth to remain virginal. Everyone else is dead and all the women are past child-bearing age now.

Issue #5: "Unfortunately, the crowds of God's chaste children are now returning to their far-flung countries, leaving us with a vacuum of virgins. So when crime rates suddenly soar, financial markets nose dive and the sun stops shining, you'll know it's because the rest of us are too busy copulating."
Of course, the crime rates wouldn't suddenly soar from the release of most of Sydney's police force being released from Pope duty or doing crowd control at a long event with numbers pushing well close to half a million (seriously, that's a lot of people) and actually being able to catch baddies. I'm pretty sure the sun won't stop shining because the Pope and his pilgrims have departed our shores either (although those particularly religious folk might think so for a time).

I'm still hoping that this douchebag has written this as a sarcastic social commentary, noting that while hundreds of thousands of people flocked to Sydney for World Youth Day there were no (that we heard about anyway) incidences of violence, rape, drinking and drug fuelled idiots causing havok or causing trouble of any kind whereas if you got that many people together for say, a heavy metal concert, it's likely there'd be a whole lotta booze and quite a few fights (and you'd find me right in the middle of it). But as "The King" has a tendency to just write whatever is on his mind and doesn't seem to mind pissing people off left, right and centre with his poisonous diatribes, I've decided he's erring towards the slightly more serious than sarcastic side.

So I'm left with a slightly dirty taste in my mouth, but that's probably just because I'm not pure of mind and soul, given that I have sex and drink booze on a regular basis. I suppose I should join the rest of the crew down at city place. We've got a mob bashing scheduled for 8 and after that we're going to mix some meth and coke, rob a liquor store, drink it all and knock over old ladies and break a few windows. Coz that's what us boozing non-virgins do.